It’s hard to imagine losing someone who has always been there, someone so close that you can’t imagine a day without knowing they were there . That is my most recent obstacle, imagining a day where I can’t call him and tell him how I feel, smell his cologne when he gives me a hug, listen to him tell me about the soccer game he just watched or the newest car coming out, or simply just hearing him tell me that he loves me. It makes me value all of the memories that we have together, but it also makes me mad that we might not be able to create more memories. It makes me angry and it makes me ask myself “WHY MY DAD?”, not that I would ever wish this pain upon anyone else, but it makes me wonder why anyone has to go through this pain. I haven’t given up hope that he will get better, but at this stage he is getting worse. I know he has a failing liver, I know that he has failing kidneys, I know there is no way to know when he could get a transplant or if he even can get a transplant, but I want to know. I catch myself wondering, not about the things I used to wonder about, not “why doesn’t he like me,” “what homework do we have?,” but “will my dad be okay?,” “will he ever get better?” The bad part about the whole situation is that no one knows. I have to live my life everyday wondering. I am a happy person and I am surrounded by the best friends and family that anyone could ever ask for, but this is a scary position to be in and I just want him to be okay, that’s all I want.
To you- You were my go to guy. I’m glad to have you back in my life. I admire you more than you will ever know. I think you have convinced me to break my barrier. Thank you for always being there to talk, even after all that we have been through. You are a great friend.
To you- You broke my heart, but I don’t regret having you in my life. You were a great friend and you were always there for me. I know that it’s not my fault, but it’s not yours either. We were not right for each other. We never were, but I am glad I tried it. I’m scared now and blame it on you, but it’s not your fault. It’s mine. Thank you for a few great months, I hope for nothing more than your friendship when this is all over. You really did make me happy.
To you- I hope that we can have fun together, but I have my reservations. I don’t want to hurt one of my best friends. I know she doesn’t like you anymore…. but I would be crushed if I were her and that is my biggest reservation about you…… We will see. I also don’t want to be hurt again. There is a part of me that thinks I would just be better off staying away, but I need to let my guard down.
On a moonlit night, once again
Through the alley, I wandered, without you.
My body, an eye gazing in search of you.
My soul, a cup teeming with anticipation
Of seeing you,
Now, I became the mad lover, anew!
Deep in my soul’s treasure-chest,
A flower, your memory, gleaming.
The garden of a thousand memories, smiling.
The scent of a thousand memories, beaming.
That night, I recalled,
Through the alley, we wandered, side by side.
Wings wide-open, in cherished solitude, soaring.
For a time, by the brook, resting.
You, all the world’s secrets in your black eyes,
I, by your glances, mesmerized.
Clear skies, quiet night,
Faith smiling, time tame.
Moonlight, grapes pouring down into the water.
Tree branches, fingers reaching up to the moon.
The night, the meadow, flowers and rocks,
Silently charmed by the nightingale’s song.
Your words of warning, I recalled,
Avoid this love!
Behold this brook for a while!
Water mirrors timid love.
Today, you care for a glance of your lover,
But, tomorrow, your heart will belong to another.
Leave this town,
Forget this love.
How would I avoid this love,
I do not know how, I said.
How would I leave your side,
I can not now, nor ever, I said.
That first day, my heart became a bird of desire.
Like a dove, I perched on your roof,
Rocks, you cast at me,
I did not fly away.
I did not fall apart.
A prairie deer am I, you the hunter.
Round your traps I wander and wander,
For to be captured by you, to surrender.
How would I avoid this love,
I do not know how, I said.
How would I leave your side,
I can not now, nor ever, I said.
From a branch, a teardrop, falling.
A bitter moan, an owl, flying.
Tears in your eyes, gleaming.
Moon, at your love, beaming.
You fell silent, I recall.
Covered by a blanket of gloom,
I did not fly away.
I did not fall apart.
Many a night have passed in melancholy darkness.
You have abandoned your tormented lover.
You would not set foot in that alley again.
Oh, but how, but how,
Through the alley, I wandered, without you.
I didn’t get it then, but now I do. Then it was something that I didn’t want to hear, so I didn’t listen, but now I wish I would have listened. You so wise, me so driven by mixed emotions, it was not meant to end well. After all that has happened I, thanks to you, have learned that like you said months ago, it was not meant to be. It was a trap, that had me caught up in something that was only a brilliant thought in my mind, not meant to be. I wish I would have listened then and taken you as the person who was always there to listen and smile, but instead I ruined it all. I’m so glad we are passed it all and that I can look at that poem and understand. Even after all of the hurt, it means so much to me to have you back as a friend, you helped me to be where I am today. Thanks for showing me this, it really rings true.
Not a day has gone by that you haven’t been there. You are the best friend anyone could ever ask for. We have suffered our falls like all friends have, but there hasn’t been a time that you weren’t there for me when I needed you. No matter what I have done, you have always been willing to forgive me. It is that for which I love you most. Yeah, we all do dumb stuff, some things bigger than others, but at the end of the day you know I would never hurt you on purpose. We understand each other, its like no one else can understand our friendship, but we can. You don’t judge me for going crazy and I don’t judge you for your weird little quarks. Yeah, we fight, but its like sisters. You know that I love you, there isn’t a secret you don’t know and there is not a secret that I wouldn’t trust you with. There isn’t a year in my life that I remember living without you, you have always been there. ALWAYS. Some friends come and go, but it is you, and it has always been you that has and will remain a constant friend forever. I love you and I love your family. You guys are and always will be my second family. Forever and for always.
You are still the best friend I have ever had. Our friendship is the best, its been in the making for a lifetime. There is not a thing that I would not tell you and there is not a thing I wouldn’t trust you with. You see me exactly how I am and you love me for it. No judgement. All the same still goes for you and will forever. You have really been there for me the last few weeks, you always make me feel better. Love you sister.
You are the sweetest girl I know. You are sassy, but I understand. I love you very much. You have the biggest heart in the world. There is not a memory that does not have you in it. Bike rides around the neighborhood, sleepovers, dress up, endless games of house, vacations, painting our faces with soap and just messing around, you have always been there. For a girl who has no siblings my age, you and your sister totally filled my void. I could not ask for a better friend, you are like my family and I will always be here for you because I love you as if you were my own sister. Best Friends forever.
Still love you little sis.
I would have never imagined that we would have become friends. The thought would have been laughed at, but it was kind of meant to be when we were put in the same home group. Why we hated each other is such a blur… but it doesn’t really matter anymore because I love you lots. We grew so close towards the end of our middle school career and I am so glad that we did. You are the voice of reason and I love you for it. You don’t judge me, and I don’t judge you. We see each other for what we are, and I really love that. I love how our friendship continues to grow. You are a warm and caring friend and I love you and our monday bonding… its pretty much the greatest thing ever. Love you waddle. Namaste.
You are a constant. Love you so very much. Know that I am always here when you need me. I promise.
I have known you for practically my whole life. Since our very first year at Westminster we have been friends. You have always been there and I love you very much. We have had our ups and downs over our years of friendship, but look where it has brought us. There isn’t a day that you don’t make me laugh and I just wouldn’t be the same if I didn’t laugh. I love you very much my little pho ho.
You have the biggest heart. I want nothing more than for you to be happy and I hope that it all works out, but if it doesn’t you will still be happy. We will get through it together. Love you bunches. Always.
I have not known you for very long, but our friendship has grown very strong. We had a rough start to our friendship, but it turns out we didn’t hate each other that much after all. Regardless of anything that has happened over the last couple of months, I really do love and cherish our friendship and I hope that we can soon get off of this rough patch. Im not even really sure why our friendship is off right now, but I have faith that we will soon be the best of friends again.
I still want the same thing. I hope you don’t hate me. I hope you know that I have learned so much from everything and want nothing more than a second chance. We really do need to work things out.
It is fair to say that we have had a kind of rough friendship. It really is for no reason. I don’t even remember why we were mad in the first place. I love you very much and you always make me smile. I remember a time when we were growing very close, and I really want to go back to that. You are a sweet and kind hearted friend and I love having you in my life. We need to make a trip to WP very soon… 16th street is calling for us.
So glad that we are back. Love you sweet girl.
I miss you, but sometimes you just have to let go. I wish I wouldn’t have screwed it up. I really think we could have been friends forever. But I can’t stay caught up on what could have been forever.
I have finally let go. If nothing else, I have learned so much.
Im very glad we have become friends. You are kind of the funniest person ever. It is your sense of humor that I really appreciate, sometimes you aren’t even trying to be funny, but you just are. Believe it or not you have really helped me through the last couple of months, I think we are going to become great friends.
Same still goes for you Mr. <3
You are the most kind and sincere friend in the world. It is your mindless comments and real smiles that make me happy everyday. You are the best listener I know, and you are the best friend to Kelsey. For you I am always thankful. You are not afraid to be who you are, and you never hold back, for that I respect you most.
I love that you are like my big brother. You look out for me and want me to be so happy. You make me feel very special. I love you very very much.
This day was hard. Seeing someone like my dad, normally so strong, so weak. He is so sick and helpless. This is the hardest thing that I have ever gone through. I love him so much and would give anything for him to be better again. Love you so much dad.
I like you so much. It’s kind of like you are exactly what I need right now. Even if we do just turn out as friends, you mean so much to me. You have helped me through the last few months.
My luck has to turn around sometime. There can only be so much hurt in such a small amount of time. My mom says “God will never give you more than you can handle.” I wish I believed that, but right now I have too much to handle. I really do. Wish I had all of my friends here for me, but I do really appreciate the ones who are here. Love you guys more than you will ever know.
I can only handle so much sadness. If he isn’t here anymore I don’t know how I will go on. Please get better Dad. I love you more than anyone in this world. My life won’t be the same without you. Please get better for me.
Loved listening to this in the car today. So much fun this weekend.
I can only act happy for so long before I just snap. Things are not okay, they will be, but right now they just aren’t. My mom can tell me not to worry about her, or force me out of her sight so that I will not have to see her like this, but it doesn’t really make a difference. At the end of the day, she has just been through a trauma and two surgeries in a little over a week. It is not possible that either she or I could be used to this yet. Our lives are changed forever and it’s just kind of hard to imagine what is to come. I love her and no matter what she says I will still worry about her before I worry about myself. I know she will be okay, different, but okay. I just can’t even imagine the position that she is in. No one can imagine what she has gone through. She tries to act brave, but I know she is scared to death too.
